WHO DO I ASK TO BE IN MY WEDDING?
Customs and traditions have changed that make it easier to select your wedding party or attendants. The general rule is one attendant for every 50 guests, but you do not need to adhere to this guideline.
- The current trend is to have only siblings. This helps limit the number of attendants, as well as avoid hurting the feelings of friends who thought they would be in your wedding.
- Just because you were in someone's wedding doesn't mean they have to be in yours. One thing that is helpful is to look toward the future and ask yourself if your will be close to this person years from now?
- You don't have to have an equal number on each side. (A professional wedding planner knows how to make the processional and recessional flow smoothly).
- The groom can have female attendants and the bride can have male attendants. Parents of the bride and groom are also now being considered as attendants.
- Flower girls and ring bearers are typically 5 to 10 years of age. The age of the child is not as important as their personality. Even the most extroverted child can be shy when it comes to walking down the aisle. Be careful of children who want to "hog the show". After walking down the aisle, children should be seated. Most children cannot stand during the length of the ceremony.
There are other ways to include a special friend or family member in your wedding. Consider using them as a guest book attendant, read a poem or scripture during the ceremony, distribute programs to the guests, or play an instrument or sing during the ceremony or reception. One wedding I coordinated had someone light memory candles as each name was read.
Once you have decided on your attendants, it is preferable to ask them in person. If location doesn't permit this, then a phone call is acceptable. You should ask them in as short a time frame as possible so no one will feel left out.